The Runaway Kid

by J Wagner

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1.
In the still of shade and shadows In the warmth of the quite and calm there's a dark jury of a deep silence In my own field of stone and song I'll be wondering out near the water all alone inside my skin but honey if you're brave I'll let you in but honey if you're brave I'll let you in I'll be in the last booth at the end of the diner crumpled hat and empty page with a rusted heart that's still holding on to that world where everyone's afraid the needle of my compass is broken I don't know where it is I've been but honey if you're brave I'll let you in but honey if you're brave I'll let you in I'll disappear in times of trouble I'll tear apart all of my sins I'll dream of living in a small world where you don't have to let anyone in I'll be throwing punches in to shadows losing more fights than I win but honey if you're brave I'll let you in but only if your brave but only if you're brave
2.
Broken Boards on the fire Sparks of oak and twine Dry wind drives the skyline your memory is driving mine in the dark before the day light I cleared the crimes from my throat now I'm gambling on Sonora but gambling ain't going to bring you home. Just a kid falling forward now pushing that peddle down draining this car of gasoline followed the crows as black as asphalt southbound to the Rio Grande I'm going to turn this river towards you and this dark and dusted land make it back to the braided river stare at the house high on the hill where the smoke sails from the chimney where my cup was always filled Just a kid falling forward now pushing that peddle down draining this car of gasoline It was the red sun that made us wonder for the field of mud and stone suitcases full of shadows spilling out along the open road Motels have lit up the highway neon dancing off the doors but I'm sleeping out in that silence and the scrub along the ancient floor. Just a kid falling forward now pushing that peddle down draining this car of gasoline
3.
Houston 04:34
Maybe the bayou wounded all of your wishes maybe the swamp swallowed your smile Or your peaceful walk faded out along the coastline my patience grew thin it flew up with the smog - I should of took you, Straight out of Houston dirty bus station, and that cheap jug of wine some paper ticket, would've said where we were heading I could've sworn you were running, but it must've been me. - Maybe the highway, took all my last chances maybe the high water was just another one to blame that hot summer sidewalk, harden all my good intentions did the heart grow hungry when all there was was concrete - I should of took you, Straight out of Houston dirty bus station, and that cheap jug of wine steam from the engine, the night she unbraided I could've sworn you were running, but it must've been me - It could've been lighting, or the whip from the windshield it could've been the cold feet , or the kick from the caffeine I swore I heard heartbeats under that old yellow poncho It could've been those night songs, that flooded the freeway. but it must've been me.
4.
Traveling through the graveyard with a suitcase full of sparks Honey, I'm just trying to find my way to you I lit up every campfire that I found out in the dark I cut down all the cotton wood I picked up all the arrow heads off the buffalo trails of the Indians Honey, I'm just trying to find my way to you that oklahoma sky kept cutting through along the tracks with the runaway he just talked and talked and talked Honey, I'm just trying to find my way to you - I quit counting stars that night in the cold by the satellite field I quit panning for gold digging holes Honey, I'm just trying to find my way to you - I swam across the pancho I took that train to cantalo I opened up my guitar case but all the songs were blue I haunted all the alleys I drifted down the valleys Honey, I'm just trying to find my way to you - I quit casting hooks off the california cost we held so dear I quit flashing smiles and running wild Honey, I'm just trying to find my way to you - I threw my bottle in to the ocean but she never wrote me back all those countless days along the sea of blue I learned the language of the mocking bird but she took and twisted all my words Honey, I'm just trying to find my way to you - I'll meet you in the graveyard with the winter trees and stars and we'll open up that suitcase full of sparks.
5.
I'll Tell you when I'm dry and sober When the smoke has cleared the room when I'm done kicking around my troubles when my memory has lost it's roots When my hands aint bound and wounded when I'm not haunched over from a fight I'll tell you when the round is over I'll tell you it all when I've closed my eyes --- I'll tell you when I aint under a spotlight and the sweat in my eyes doesn't sting when I've finished screaming at that stranger who's slipped inside my skin I'll tell you when the rush has ended when my smile no longer bleeds When I'm done stumbling backwards giving the crowd what they came to see --- When the game no longer needs me and the scars are all that remains When I ain'f half spent from adrenaline or waiting for that bell to ring I'll tell you when the mask doesn't fit me and I've stopped wearing another mans suit when I aint searching for a gamble or a place to hide from they truth I'll tell you when I'm no longer in the corner blocking punches, tied to the ropes I'll tell you when my head aint cloudy that my darling, you were always my home.
6.
Silent Ways 03:35
Silent Ways The land swells like a new scar grey shadows have left the sun the air is rising up another hill the day before is now done the burt smell of the brown dust is now the curve in a crows beak I'm singing green against your grey skin following your footsteps to sleep - the night woke in it's old ways and danced in a field of rain steps took on a new speed like the click and clatter of a chain I heard new words about the winds intent and stories of a sailor at sea time has ticked since the first seeds fell I'm waiting to see what they bring. - Out on the porch there's music on the radio slip on that long dress and come and dance in the shadows I swear this old house had to have been built with tombstones won't you step out side or at least smile through the window won't you step out side or at least smile through the window - Your silent ways they began roar I caught them all slippin east moving idly down some bone colored town falling head first into the streets In front of the beggars and along through the dust the white flowers would rise and then bend with the bright new bread of your dark green wheat I hum your tune once again Out on the porch there's music on the radio slip on that long dress and come and dance in the shadows I swear this old house had to have been built with tombstones won't you step out side or at least smile through the window won't you step out side or at least smile through the window - It was a silent surprise and a quick attack the night was a hand maids veil against it's own thoughts it's fingers well crossed it followed it's shadow down the trail it was a hurried step so the tempo tugged dawn was not far away it's the inward sweep that scatters the leaves it's the dangerous games we all play - Out on the porch there's music on the radio slip on that long dress and come and dance in the shadows I swear this old house had to have been built with tombstones won't you step out side or at least smile through the window won't you step out side or at least smile through the window
7.
Smiling Now 04:19
Smiling Now Field mouse running through the grass you were cruel when you wrote me last peaches on the window seal are turning black Hound dog moon she's on the rise I feel forward and then back in time you broke the bread, darling I poured the wine I hope you're smiling now you were just falling down I should've held you high I should've held you high Screen door banging against the wind you came calling I just ran and hid I gave you game you could never win I hope you're smiling now you were just falling down I should've held you high I should've held you high We chased the night into the dawn we sang the morning praise with the words all wrong I still remember you so soft and young so soft and young I hope you're smiling now you were just falling down I should've held you high I should've held you high
8.
9.
It Never Was 04:28
10.
I Need You 03:11

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released June 7, 2014

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J Wagner Austin, Texas

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